Lyrics of My Mind

by Nicholas Smith

Never have I had a truer friend
one who neither sins nor offends
than Silence.

The quiet whispers of Silence in my mind
as it speaks to me
speaks to me
thankfully
quietly
through lips chapped by winds
of wisdom and reflection—
truth, not deception.
For truth knoweth lies
and bringeth correction.

Henceforth, I shall embrace my true friend
before I condescend
or pretend
to know what I have penned.
The End.

The kingdom of heaven is like a west-bound train
Hurdling itself across rivers and plains
Through mountains
Broken down by hammer and nail—
Blasted
By apocalyptic explosions
And vertical dualism.

I think of this as I sit in my usual seat
By the window.
The landscape outside is such a blur
I hardly notice my childhood pass by.
The signals always clang
Traffic stops—people wait
But the train always moves.

I pass adolescence
Into adulthood.
“Tickets please!”
Some get off
Others board
Not knowing where they are going
Or how long it will take
But stepping up in faith nonetheless.

What I know now is
Everyone around me
Young and old
Of varying thoughts and commitments
Is traveling to the end of the line—
Wherever that may be—
Getting their tickets punched
Staring out at an endless horizon
Hoping beyond hopes
Their motility will cease
The passing landscape out their window
Will slow to a crawl
Revealing an immortal stage
Which justifies their unsavory journey
On a west-bound train

I will write in my journal ‘til the ink runs dry

And I’m left scratching an empty quill against paper

An abhorrent ellipsis mocking my thinning hair

I wear my skin like a sweater

One sopping wet after being shoved into the pool in my front yard

All I wanna do is peel it off

Jump back in the pool

And go deeper

Deeper

Deeper ‘til the woes of reality are muffled

Cloaked by submerged tranquility

And the sting of chlorine on my eyes

Fixated on the faces above

Who would trap me

Truthfully, there is no pool

Only a hole

A ten-foot hole

Leaden by my sweater

I sit at its bottom

Burrowing my painted toes into the dirt

I look up at the stars

Wishing

Wishing for a cure as I waste away

While the pages in my journal, ellipsis and all

Are cooked under the smolder of a slow death

All is vanity. 

Friendships never die

But in my minds eye

It’s nothing but a lie

As I sit here and cry

Drops of pain and misery 

To an ocean eventually

Drowning me lonely

If I could only

Learn to live and love

To laugh instead of

Placing them above 

Myself thereof

And not make the mistake

Of squalling for what’s fake

For heaven’s sake

Damn the heartbreak

If friendships never die